So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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