The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
