Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
