so explain again why im purple
no
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
