So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
