i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
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