After last night, I could never be a politician.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
