Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
