it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
