he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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