I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
