That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
