we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
