yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My dick has a subreddit
Randomize
