what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
