Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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