I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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