Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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