what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
