That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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