I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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