Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
