I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
