He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
