why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
ugly people sure do ruin things
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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