stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Randomize
