so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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