I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
