...so i touched it.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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