this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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