Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
