i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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