Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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