is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My cat gives me a boner
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm really busy with my period
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