Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
