Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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