and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
