Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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