I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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