he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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