Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
