so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
