no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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