I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
