Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
barbara walters just said penis...
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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