Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
do herpes really smell.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I am naked and annoyed.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
