I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
