everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
