my soul wont recognize me after tonight
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
