lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
