Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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